Feel that?

The little….quiet voice in your chest.  Screaming, in whispers.  Kicking the walls.

You call it “id” and “ego”.  You soothe it with psychiatry, meditation; you croon, “inner child!” and hand it a snack.

The little voice that says,

“Let’s play!”

The voice that says, “hold me…”

The self that cries,

and breaks,

and wants.

God forbid it speak.  The judgment!  The shame!  Did I just say that?  What will they think?  One more yoga class, one more workshop; a run; some chocolate; a bath; thinking –

How many ways am I wrong?

 

Once in a while, I need to have needs.

I need to fight pillows,

to wrestle and scream,

throw paint at the walls and bake cakes and eat icing,

to snuggle and struggle and think unkind thoughts.

Sometimes,

in growing all the way up,

I need days to grow all the way down.

 

 

and then

I can pick myself up

 

dust a blush from my cheeks

and the years from my clothes

 

do the chores, wash the cat, pay the bills, eat the kale

face the world again

with a smile…

(and a small little voice in my chest

says remember…

 

to be joyfully

human

is loving and living

the world

through all parts of me.